Communication/problem solving

What is the top complaint of those going into counseling with a spouse or family? I just don't know how to communicate. Here's the thing, it is natural to be able to talk, but to actually say what you meant and have it heard the way you want it to is a lot harder. With words only being 14% of the way you communicate what you say doesn't matter as much as how you say it. What you are doing is encoding your ideas into words or actions sending them to the person your talking to who has to decode your encoding and then send back a reply message which could be not saying anything at all. It is important to remember that this is a cycle so when you interrupt someone talking you are causing it so they can't finish encoding their message and just get frustrated. I used to do that to my husband and wondered why he wasn't talking anymore. Good thing we can learn how to communicate so we can fix these kinds of problems. Now on to Problem solving. Problem solving is learning to come to a consensus on issues while validating both people opinions, giving each time to think and express what they feel and not giving in just because you don't want an argument. One of the best ways to do this is the council method which I feel Elder Skousen and President Eyring describe it best (watch video). This is  how you should have your family, especially your spouse. We all have different perspectives and all receive different answers different ways. For those who are religion it is from God, from those who are not it is inspiration. counseling brings unity. Any problem solving you do should bring you closer because it isn't about winning, it is about finding out what is right, what is best for the family and it is easier without side help.