Are we human or are we dancers?

The song human by the band Killers inspired by the quote " America is raising a generation of  dancers" by Hunter S. Thompson. So are we able to think for ourselves or will we just conform to the patters of society or the culture or even in our family that we are used to. I am not trying to give a big stink and say we all should be rebels wear our pants backwards and never do any traditional thing ever again in our lives, but we shouldn't be afraid of doing something different. The different thing I am thinking about for today is admitting that we, as human kind, are  vulnerable . We have always been that way, emotionally, physically and mentally.  We build up in our minds that we have so much power and then something happens to us to show we are vulnerable and suddenly we aren't following the normal steps that we should by being weak. When my mom died four 4 1/2 years ago it was hard for me to think I was so vulnerable, that I was so weak that I needed to ask others for help. It felt like if I mentioned it to anyone it was like a trump card, I was playing the victum. It made others uncomfortable and hesitate to share experiences in their lives because mine was just so big. This week we have been talking about family crisis and how we handle it.
One way to look at it is the ABCX model  the picture basically explains it. So the event with how you react to what it makes you think equals your total experiences. This is why we have people within a family that experiences crisis or two families that experiences the same crisis and their experiences is completely different. Part of behavior and cognition is copping patterns. What behavior or thinking do we use in order to help protect ourselves from pain. Many copping mechanisms work in the temporarily, like alcohol, addiction, denial and avoidance. For that day or week or whatever amount of time it works for you, but some of them compound the problem and cause the crisis to be bigger. A good copping pattern is reframing, all you are doing is changing how you think about a situation. Nothing about the actual even changes, just how you are looking at it. Most religious people are good at this. We have something really crappy happen to us and then we look back on it and think that it has changed us for the better. That it helped us have a better relationship or prepared us for something else. However reframing is not saying that because it happened I know I can handle it so at this moment of great need I am going to try and take care of everyone else and ignore all of my negative feelings because I should have those because this is a good experiences. That is called avoidance. I had this problem because I didn't want to be seen a a victim and then people would call me strong and then I would feel  hypocritical because I wasn't that strong. What I didn't understand then was that is is alright to be vulnerable and even if an emotion doesn't make sense you can't logical yourself out of it. It is your feeling you need to bridle it, not run away, not beat it to death, not drowned it, but bridle it. It takes practice and work and it helps to talk to other people.