Proclamation-Based Principles of Parenting and Supportive Scholarship

 I just read the Proclamation-Based Principles of Parenting and Supportive Scholarship by Craig H. Hart and Lloyd D. Newell (1) and Lisa L. Sine. They do a good job at talking about traditional views of children ( innately evil, blank slate and inertly good) over time and explaining a LDS perspective (born Innocent with potential either way). One of my favorite things which was mentioned was spanking. Lately I have been hearing a lot of NO SPANKING EVER arguments and judgments for parents who do spank that they are abusive. They said "A body of scientific literature suggests that “non-abusive” spanking consisting of one or two mild slaps on the buttocks in limited situations (e.g., out-of-control behavior that poses danger
to the child or others) can be beneficial as a last resort, but only for children between two and six years of age. It can be particularly beneficial when backing up other discipline measures that have failed (e.g., reasoning with child or withdrawing privileges), or when conducted infrequently in the context of a warm and responsive relationship.". They also mention that a child's temperament should be taken into account when determining if spanking would be effective. I personally didn't respond to being spanked, but when my stuffed animal were put in prison (the top of the fridge) for my misbehavior I was sympathetic to their need to get out of there and would change my behavior. what was also talked about was parenting types : coercive  passive and authoritative (not to be mixed up with authoritarianism). That coercive will use force, hostility and threatening  to make their children be good. This makes it highly likely that the child will have negative effects. Passive  parenting is that you just let them go. Sometime this over indulges the child, but often it just leads to instability. Sometimes kids come out with a positive experiences some times a negative, but they are usually defiant to authority  Authoritative parents are those who set up firm boundaries with way that they can be negotiated for more autonomy (self reliance) in the child's life and that they work more for showing love than just correcting their child. Another key point in being an authoritative parent is being able to apologize when you make mistakes (which you will no matter how hard you try). I think that this has really opened my mind to what kind of parent I want to be.

PS: This is a link to the proclamation referred to in the article https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation